It's Christmas!

Casey is not a millionaire.

Again.

And we are.

Again.

And that's the way things are at FalseCasey HQ, where we're comfy and cozy while Casey contemplates homelessnes and living in a van.

Wrapping up for the year

We just finished off the last client job for this calendar year and will be taking a break. However, unlike certain valet-parker entrepreneurs in Sacramento, we expect to be back after the first of the year.

Casey, of course, has decided to quit his valet-parking job, in order to travel the world, work and live free in a bunch of "eco-villages" he believes exist and are waiting for him, and of course blog about it. He has no idea what he's in for if he actually decides to live on one of those organic farms around the world. First, he'll find it's hardly free to get there, the accommodations are probably not up to his standard (isn't this the guy who whined that his first hostel in Sydney wasn't good enough because he needed a private room?) the work is hard and lasts much of the day, and there's no internet, if there's even any electricity.

We can't wait to hear about it.

But for now, we're happy to note that Christmas on the west coast will start in just over two days, and Casey once again appears to be nowhere close to being a millionaire.

And that's the way things are at the FalseCasey HQ, where we've cashed the last check, opened a good bottle, and are relaxing for a change.

Breaking News: Casey Goes Dark (again)

Not sure what this means, but Casey's Facebook account has gone dark. His picture is missing and there have been no public updates.

We are not sure what this means, but prior experience indicates several possibilities:

1) He's pissed off at all the "negativity"

2) He's pissed somebody off and is trying trying to impress them with his ability to go offline.

3) Family have told him "go offline or move out."

In any event, it is extremely unlikely that he'll stay away for long.

And that's the way things are at the FalseCasey HQ, where we are thinking we should really get a new vehicle this month rather than next, while the sales tax is still deductible.

Casey Gets Closure

Thanks to some Facebook sleuthing by one of our former acquaintences, we have become aware of Casey's recent desire to have some sort of "closure" with his ex-wife Galina.

You will of course recall that Casey's wife locked him out of their home rented bedrooms in her sister's place when he decided that taking a trip to Australia on about an hour's notice and leaving her penniless with bills to pay was a good idea. After that kind of debacle, most people would have presumed that all roads back were closed and that closure was complete, whether you liked it or not.


But not our boi.


Casey has desperately continued to wear his wedding ring, "the ring of hope" he has called it (the Haterz™ have termed it "the ring of fail™") thus clearly tagging himself as hopelessly hung up and thus unattractive to anybody else who might come along. He's commented repeatedly about getting "the one" back. He started the stupid Millionaire By Christmas blog, which from its very inception seemed designed around the idea of finally making good and thus winning Galina back, as if she were somehow paying attention to his blogs anymore. He blamed his divorce on outsiders "meddling" as rationalization for having been a jerk and then continued to dream that once the outsiders were gone, he could have another chance.


But lately things have changed. It's not clear what's prompted this, but Casey has been talking about moving on and achieving the desired "closure," about two years late. In fact, it made the top of his Christmas Fantasies List for the month. We have an inkling that there may be some other female lurking in the background and that the "closure" was perhaps a result of Casey realizing that there is more than one stupid gullible victim interested girl out there and that his continued pining for somebody who is obviously gone was perhaps not the biggest turn-on for somebody new.


This photo featuring the ring of fail is adeptly photographed on-location at the West Sacramento Ikea store, for reasons we have yet to understand, and is published with some commentary suggesting that a meeting took place with somebody over lunch at the store, leading to final closure:

... closure received. It is FINAL.

... there is a very profound meaning to all of the symbolism depicted. The time has come. I am moving on. Just like that.

... I am just so glad I did not allow anuone to pressure me into moving on before I was ready. I stood my ground, did a good amount of grieving and healing, kept holding on just in case, did everything I felt led to do, kept the door open for a possible reconciliation up untill the last moment. Well the time has come. The meeting over delicious Swedish meatballs at Ikea provided the final confirmation.

However, before moving on, Casey does have the opportunity to remind us what an artistic genius he is as well, and how great the future is for him. We find him continually tough to stomach:

... I would please ask my friends to be gentle with this area. I guess it IS all ultimately pretty funny but the wound is still healing. Thank u. This is the month to tie up all the loose ends and 2010??? I have NNNOOO IDEA what is coming next! The excitement and anticipation is becoming more intense with each day this month of December 2009

... some pieces of art and personal expression need not an explanation nor reason. Only it's creator knows and feels the meaning.

... I already AM an artist as I creatively live my life and express it through all kinds of ways -- from crafting business ventures to playfully blogging my lifestory, capturing the right moment via video/photography, etc. In which way do you express your creative artistic side?

We also can't quite understand the significance of Ikea in all this, though Casey does note that there is great significance to this photo. Did he and Galina buy some important piece of furniture there? Did they love the Swedish meatballs? Does she work there and he stalked her in order to have the conversation? Did he even meet with her, or was it a meeting with Galina's anonymous representative? Very confusing, even to those of us who have watched Casey for a while.

It should be noted that Casey went to great lengths to make this photo as it is. We have obtained the satellite imagery of the West Sacramento Ikea store:

The entrance to the store is in the upper right and that is where most cars are parked. The sign is in the lower left adjacent to the lot that is furthest from the entrance, closest to the loading dock and probably used only by employees or maybe people living inconspicuously in their vans.

To get the photo, Casey would have needed to be somewhere in the red circle adjacent to the sign, as shown in this image. Not a place most people would be, and unless you worked in the store probably not even an area you would normally be particularly aware of. Casey of course has had his reasons for seeking out inconspicuous parking lots in the past year, but we seriously doubt he took this photo there because that's where he's been sleeping.

Casey thinks he's being all cool and artistic and stuff for hiding stupid meanings in bad photographs. We still think he's a jerk, though obviously now a jerk who has achieved closure. Someday maybe he'll achieve a 10 year-old's maturity level.

And that's the way things are here at FalseCasey HQ, where we are hung over.

The Serin Family

This image, captured from Casey's old flickr account, has been making the rounds over at CHC, or so we are told.

It is apparently related to some family photoshoot from a while back, which we are told also included some relatively normal images, or at least as normal as could be possible with Casey present.

Naturally, this image could not possibly come without some good -- and sometimes bad -- natured ribbing about the family, Casey, and everything else.

This was posted by an anonymous source:

They're creepy and they're kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
They're all together ooky,
The Serin Family.

The debts they aren’t counting,
From Casey’s blue-ball bouncing
They’re gonna get a trouncing.
The Serin Family.

Effite

Sweet

0% Complete!

So get a looser’s™ murse on.
A blog you can converse on.
God must have put a curse on
The Serin Family.

And that's the way things are here at FalseCasey HQ, where it is raining by the beach, snowing in the mountains, and we are considering a return to our winter lair in short order.

Casey's Christmas Fantasies

We'd like to call these "wishes," as that would be more in the spirit of things, but really these are so absurd that even Walt Disney on acid would not have been able to come up with them.

In fact, even Casey can't seem to decide what they are. They started as "December Objectives" then "Christmas Wishes" and finally simply "For Christmas." As he notes below, tweaking is continuous but this is the latest snapshot forwarded to us by a fan:

Here is my Christmas wish list.

Just keep in mind, there may be some tweaking and refining, as I play with just the best words to use:

1. Closure/Reconciliation in a Key Emotional Area

2. Very Substantial, Pleasantly Unexpected, Perfectly Timed Financial Blessing

3. Confidence/Wisdom in New Leadership Roles

So there you have it. It's generic enough to prevent being too open/vulnerable, yet I know exactly what i'm referring to. And you might too.

The seeds for all this have been planted a while ago, and it's all now beginning to "sprout". That's why I've been more and more excited lately.

"Your Wish is My Command" -- through LOVE, Prayer and Gratitude.

Knowing I'm encouraged to ask whatever I want and most importantly, give thanks before it even comes, moves me into alignment towards the wanted outcome, and brings it into reality.

Thank You!

== DISCLAIMER==

Sorry if the way I talk about all of this is a bit... um, weird.

It is really nothing new. I've been instructed in this my whole life. I'm just now expanding my horizons a little bit and playing with new labels/words -- more generic, less loaded, more inclusive -- to see how it comes across. I'm taking a risk, here amongst my friends! I hope you understand me!?

Does any of this resonate with you??

Only if you FEEL it, please DO share and amplify.

Otherwise please remain silent and keep your LOLs to yourself. I'm just like a child in a world of fantasy and endless possibilities, playing with these ideas and having some fun. Please refrain from projecting your own doubt and limited perspective. I don't want it. I'm Sorry.

Also, please Forgive Me for offending you in any way through the way I describe things. Please take this as an opportunity to seek a closer relationship so we can compare notes and see any areas of disagreement and find common ground.

Wow, what a crazy/beautiful life this is!

Thank you in advance for your feedback.

Much love,

~ Casey Konstantin Serin

ANALYSIS

We will dissect this statement for our readers who may be less familiar with Mr. Serin and his words than we are:

Closure/Reconciliation in a Key Emotional Area

OK, we all know what this one is about. He wants his ex-wife Galina to come back to him. This will allow him to close the book on that nasty divorce thing and and reconcile with her. What he doesn't realize is that he's already got closure, in the sense that she has permanently closed the door to him ever speaking to her again. The only reconciliation yet to come is him reconciling himself to the fact that at this very moment she is writhing in an ecstacy she couldn't have ever imagined when she was with Casey, with some dude's tongue probing into areas Casey never could have imagined existing.

Very Substantial, Pleasantly Unexpected, Perfectly Timed Financial Blessing

This one sounds a lot like the Spanish Inquisition: Unexpected, except by those who have been watching for it.

It's one of the stupider examples of Casey's belief in things "manifesting" themselves just because he daydreams about them, which is what he's taken from "The Secret" and other similar garbage best-sellers. [A more appropriate lesson might be that if you really want something bad enough, you'll be willing to work your ass off to get it, and thus the real secret is to dedicate yourself to those things that you really, really want.]

And for the record, the next California Lotto jackpot is $36 million and we're going to buy in because one of us is Jewish and we're superstitious about multiples of 18. We expect that we have just as good odds of our $36m "manifesting itself" as Casey does with his wishes fantasies. In fact, we have better odds because we're going to buy $18 worth of tickets and Casey can't afford that many.

Incidentally, if wishing for something could miraculously cause it to manifest itself, then the hundreds of people who have been wishing for you to be in FPMITA Prison should have caused something to be manifested by now, don't you think?

Confidence/Wisdom in New Leadership Roles

Dude, last we heard you were scrubbing dishes or something like that. You don't have a leadership role except in your own mind as leader of a nonexistent group that is daydreaming about raising nonexistent dollars to buy you a nonexistent tropical island.

Further stupid comments and useless fluff

Only if you FEEL it, please DO share and amplify. - Ugh. More of his BS. Talk to me if you agree with me. Unfortuantely, he's lost any grasp on reality, so there's nobody to talk to him except for a few crazy people who have befriended him, pretty much all of whom appear to be complete trolls. Seriously, why would any of these hot women waste an instant of time with him except to entertain herself during those rare periods when nobody is vying to get under her desk to do her bidding. The only thing that's more phony than his "friends" is his own stupid act.

I'm just like a child in a world of fantasy and endless possibilities, playing with these ideas and having some fun. Please refrain from projecting your own doubt and limited perspective. I don't want it. - No, you're just like a really, really, lame, balding almost-30 guy who scrubs dishes and takes out the trash for a living, has no skills, no perspective, and no desire to hear that everything that he's pursued for his adult life has been a complete lie.

Please take this as an opportunity to seek a closer relationship so we can compare notes and see any areas of disagreement and find common ground. - So if we disagree with you we're supposed to seek a closer relationship and compare notes? We thought you just said that if we disagreed with you we should shut up. Which is it? We're confused.

Thank you in advance for your feedback. - OK. We think you're a moron. And you're welcome.

Buying an Island

Sorry for the recent absence. A family emergency has left one of us unavailable and, well, sometimes you just gotta work to pay the bills, a lesson that maybe Casey can learn.

In any case, not much has happened. The island floated along, then went underground (underwater?) for a few days, then re-emerged with no sponsors and new claims of success.

Casey says he's now in the top page of results for the phrase "Buying an Island." He considers this a great SEO success. We suspect that, given the challenge, Caseypedia is likely to surpass him rather quickly.

Buying an Island, see it now.

And that's the way it is at FalseCasey HQ, where it is raining hard

Super Secret HaterzCon™ Picture

First, let's be real. HaterzCon™ is nothing but a name for BTC, Funky and Nigel getting together and acting stupid. As anybody who was listening to todays bore-cast with Casey knows, they did exactly that. It turned out to be a good thing because their drunken ramblings were the only thing in the whole two hours that wasn't putting us to sleep.

But we have received a photo from a Mr. Bandit, who purports to have inside knowledge of the affair and who has included the attached photo of preparations for a Haterzcon™.

We're not certain, but we think the one with the torch and pleater jacket is meant to be Nigel, but he's obviously wearing a toupee. BTC seems like the type who would have gone for the shotgun. Funky is just plain too weird for us to try to figure out.

We also like the island touches in the background and of course the iPhone, which is a necessity for any solvent blogger.

And is that a Chatzilla window in the upper left of the screen? Are the haterz quietly communicating and coordinating or manipulating things behind the scenes? Is there a new "inner circle?"

Mr. Bandit has also provided the following, purportedly showing the refrigerator at some point near the start of the event, which may or may not explain the state of the threesome when they called in.

And that's the way things are from FalseCasey HQ, where we wish WE could be up in the mountains for Octoberfest tomorrow!

So Casey wants to sue us?

Go ahead fucker, make our day!

You see, we have analyzed the coverage provided by that Pre-payed Leagle scam that you have bought into, and it doesn't cover filing lawsuits.

In fact, the coverage provided in California as part of the self-employed business plan that you said you got, is detailed here: https://www.prepaidlegal.com/Multisite/JSP/corp/corpplan.jsp?region=CA&plan=LPSE#bottom

Preventive Legal Services for your business

• Talk to a Lawyer when you need assistance on business legal issues. You'll receive telephone consultations on an unlimited number of matters for business questions.
• A maximum of three (3) letters written on behalf of your business to third parties each month. (State laws and contract provisions apply.)
• Receive up to three (3) business contracts or documents of up to 15 pages each reviewed by your Provider Law Firm.

Other Legal Services for your business

Any other business legal services not otherwise covered by the membership are
available at a 25% discount from the Provider Law Firm's corporate rate.

Which is a nice way of saying that all they'll do is write a letter for you if you have a complaint or an issue. If you want to sue, you still have to pay them a retainer, but they'll give you a 25% discount off their "corporate rate." Usually the way they work this is that their "corporate rate" is about 30% higher than their "normal" rate, so after getting the discount you're paying about as much as any other client.

Not that it matters much. You don't have enough to pay any rate.

And they won't even have much to say in the letter. You see, lawyers who make idle threats and false allegations don't stay in the lawyer business long. And there's nothing we have published here that is not either 100% verifiable fact OR 100% opinion, both of which are protected under the first amendment. The most they can say is "we don't like what you said about our client and would appreciate you taking it down." And we can toss the letter in the trash if we wish. You'd have to sue us to get any kind of enforcement, and as we said, you can't afford to sue even at the "25% discounted rate."

So kindly fuck off. You're a scammer and always have been. You have self-documented your scams and crimes starting with the iamfacingforeclosure blog and continuing through today. You have made no secret of the liar loans and the sleazy strategies used to obtain your credit. You have knowingly associated with individuals (Lisa, Mike, Anthony, Mark, Marty, etc.) whose scammy histories are plastered all over the internet, if only you had bothered to Google them.

Don't complain that you've been tarred with the "fraudster" brush. Your own conduct has been plain for everybody to see. As you noted on today's talk-cast, you are personally incapable of doing anything -- even anything illegal -- without broadcasting it to the world, and broadcast you have! You have earned your reputation. No legal team can reverse your own stupidity.

And that's the way things are at the FalseCasey HQ, where we are looking forward to the possible fireworks likely to emerge from this weekend's meeting of the Salt Lake Three.

Casey breaks the law again

So, Casey has no problem computing and streaming while driving? That's what he seems to imply in one of his latest moronic videos:

"Is it illegal to drive with headset... maybe... hee hee heee... just tryin to have a good time.... maybe I'll find out later... who sez you can't stream while drivin'... hope I don't miss my turn here..."

http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/2152812

He might want to pay attention to something going on around him from time to time. Hard to believe anybody living in California was not aware of this, because it got a huge amount of publicity around January 1st, including signs on the freeways and elsewhere:

The new Wireless Communications Device Law (effective January 1, 2009) makes it an infraction to write, send, or read text-based communication on an electronic wireless communications device, such as a cell phone, while driving a motor vehicle.

http://www.dmv.ca.gov/cellularphonelaws/

The law is fairly broadly written. If all he were doing was streaming with a camera that is set up before he started driving, that would probably be OK. But throughout his various streams he made it obvious that he was also checking the chatbox and even banning people while driving! This most certainly qualifies as "writing, sending or reading text-based communication."

Here is another great example where he clearly is leaning over to play with his laptop while behind the wheel in traffic:

http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/2153590

And yes, he appears to have done it mostly when he was stopped or moving at low speed. But per the law, he is considered to be in control of the vehicle until he is safely parked and out of traffic. A red light doesn't cut it. "Low speed" doesn't cut it. "No other traffic on the road" doesn't cut it. Listen to his narration. He's yammering on and on about what's going on in the neighborhood he's driving through, making it clear that these are areas where pedestrian traffic is common.

He was behind the wheel, in an active lane and he was playing with his chatbox. Guilty!

His second infraction is the headset. Headsets are legal -- in fact they're required for cellphone use by a driver in California -- but are only allowed to cover one ear. His is a two-ear stereo model and the video clearly shows both earpieces in place over his ears. Again, Guilty!

[Edit: Here are the actual rules, for those of you who want to check for yourselves:

Requirement to use a hands-free device: http://www.dmv.ca.gov/pubs/vctop/d11/vc23123.htm
May not cover both ears with any device: http://www.dmv.ca.gov/pubs/vctop/d12/vc27400.htm
Prohibition on text communication: http://www.dmv.ca.gov/pubs/vctop/d11/vc23123_5.htm

- FC]

If he got into an accident and hurt somebody, he'd be paying it off for the rest of his miserable life. Not that he'd have much to pay it off with.

However, whoever owns the vehicle he was driving would probably be on the hook too. As Nigel knows from his experience with Casey a year ago, the boi is not exactly all that responsible about the vehicles he borrows. Maybe anybody who decided to lend him one for the afternoon needs to reconsider.

Of course, if he hurt or killed somebody we loved, he wouldn't have a chance to "pay it off" and neither would the owner of the vehicle. Whatever remained of their lives would be lived in excruciating pain. And we'd stream it.

And that's the way things are at FalseCasey HQ, where we can be thankful for a few brief moments that we are not anywhere near a place where Casey might be driving.

Island 2012 Project Is Dead

Our buddy Casey last posted about the Island a week ago, when he commented on the 12 things he had to do. (How's the list going, by the way. Inquiring minds want to know.)

Since then he's consumed himself with planning his birthday party, something most adults rarely put more than a few minutes into. And of course, he's been hanging out with his new grifter friends.

We strongly suspect that by the time the party rolls around this weekend, the whole island idea will be on the back burner. He has two new "islands" on his mind and the money is likely to follow them.

The question is whether he'll actually get around to telling his assembled guests (who at last note include the big-tittled fraudseter herself) that he's dumped the whole island idea in favor of investing his money in some form of a scam.

We should note that it may or may not actually be a pay-phone scam. While these are not all that uncommon, it's quite possible that the twin hucksters (the one with her own twins, and the fat guy) have something else up their sleeves, or down their blouses, as the case may be.

We were thinking it could even be fun to show up to Casey's party just to meet her. We'd be interested in finding out exactly how far she would go if presented with a sufficiently valuable "mark." We suspect that a weekend sans-Mike in Tahoe would not be out of the question.

And that's the way it is at FalseCasey HQ, where idle thoughts like that are just idle, because we really have better things to do, and our friend Claire is far better endowed than either Lisa or Angel.

Reader Poll: Which pair would you choose?

Angel:

- OR -

Lisa:

Casey apparently has little interest in either.

While the youth of the second set is clearly evident and the belly-button ring certainly gives her a certain sluttiness that we can appreicate, we nonetheless feel certain that good ol' AngelTits would give us a nice run for our money. Fake, firm, fabulous and more likely to be frustrated at home.

Your thoughts? Be open with your opinions as we will not be censoring this thread.

And that's the way it is at FalseCasey HQ, where a long fun day is coming to a close.

Casey just "invested" $10K in a pay-phone scam!

You heard it here first.

In these these tough economic times, of course, pay phones are sure to regain all the ground they lost to cellphones in the past 15 years. They're going to the moon we tell you! That's why a budding excrapreneur like Casey would want to be involved.

Evidence at the following photo set:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sercasey/sets/72157622124556599/

If you are not a Casey Serin contact on flickr, please access this with the following URL, which includes a "guest pass" for the directory: http://flickr.com/gp/sercasey/N7oKn9&h=ac8b5ecc2bac1e6f07d2c5285ed269dc

Photo #2 in the set:



Photo #3:



The rest of the set is photos of him at his "friends" Mike and Lisa's place.

Lisa has particularly nice "assets" (No, we're not talking about the poor dog who is forced to live with people who are known associates of Casey Serin. Her other assets.)



Strangely enough Mike and Lisa run this outfit:

http://www.executiveconsultantgroupllc.com/

Who describe their business (Executive Consultant Group LLC) as follows:

Our company was formed to address this country's financial crisis and provide an innovative solution to fulfill our clients ever changing needs. Our concept is simple;

We work with you, one on one, to achieve maximum funding and in turn offer you high yield low risk investment opportunities.

Did you know that there are low risk investments available that yield as much as 20% per month?

Did you know that you can obtain large amounts of unsecured funding at low rates?

Putting these two winning solutions together can create an incredible passive income opportunity.

Let us create a custom proven plan that allows you to earn a passive income of at LEAST $5,000-$10,000 per month (keep in mind.....this is a minimum).

[The emphasis is ours. We know our boi!]

Yeah, that was our first thought too: "They sound like scammers."

And by the look of their incomplete and somewhat faulty website, fairly recent ones too. At least in this current incarnation.

As usual, Casey is going along. He's probably a great mark.

So why does a careful analysis suggest that he invested $10K? Mostly because that's just a bit less than his GSPG stock was worth when he sold it a few days ago. After setting aside $999 to be scammed by Sarah Prout (A scam we will dissect later), he'd have about $10K. In exchange he gets to go wine tasting with them for the day and hang out by their pool for a BBQ. You'd think he'd at least have gotten the opportunity to fondle Lisa's tits, but as we know from the whole Angeltits debacle, he's just not all that interested.

There's no other way for this to add up.

[And OK, we admit it. The whole "payphone scam" idea is very definitely a slim possibility. But Casey loves "foreshadowing" his activity with carefully placed hints in his photostream, so it's definitely fun to think about. Regardless of the nature of the proposition that Lisa and Mike are pitching to him, we suspect that it's designed to enrich them at his expense, and not the kind of "win-win" he always claims to be looking for.]

And that's the view from FalseCasey HQ, where there is still smoke in the air and we are amazed that Casey has most likely found a worse place to put his borrowed money than GSPG.

We've been out of it

Believe it or not, there are some things going on in our lives that don't involve Casey, like the crazy hooker/pornstar/cokehead we've been nailing every night, while mostly still thinking about Angel's Big Fake Tits.

But we've taken note of TrueCasey's bizarre Island project, and just commented about it on his blog. We have no faith that he will actually publish it, so here it is, complete and unedited:

FC 12:36 pm on August 28, 2009

Well, We just did some math.

In order to accommodate all your sponsors, you will need to have a minimum of 501 rooms in the resort. Pretty simple math, the total number of days committed to sponsors in each cycle is identical to the number of dollars raised per month. 500,500.

There are 1000 days in each cycle.

500,500 (total room-days per cycle) / 1000 (days per cycle) = 500.5 (rooms)

Can’t build half rooms, so you need to make it 501. Plus you’ll need one for yourself. 502. And whatever other friends you want to invite. Maybe 510.

Realistically, you probably need even more, because you need to allow for the fact that at times some rooms will be closed for maintenance, and not everybody is going to perfectly “fit” into a schedule that has the place at 100% capacity all the time.

So, you need about 600 rooms. And that’s just to accomodate the people you have made a commitment to. If you want to offer rooms to others, it needs to be even bigger. Since you’re on an island, you’ll also need employee housing and other facilities, which will add to the cost of construction and maintenance.

And you expect to be able to operate this resort on an ongoing basis with your sponsor’s money. $500,500 per month. Oh yeah, you plan to take 10% for yourself, so really you’ll have $450,450 per month available to build and operate this place, or $750 per month per room.

Most mid-grade motels in urban areas spend that much! Most resorts spend double that or more! And most of those aren’t on islands where everything is more expensive.

And that’s just operating costs. Even if you sold every single sponsorship tomorrow, it would take a few decades to save up enough money to build a 600 room resort. Look at this: http://www.hotel-online.com/News/PR2003_2nd/May03_HotelWaterParkStudy.html

Yup, that’s right. Contruction costs for a luxury resort type hotel start at around $250K per room and go as high as almost $600K. And that’s in the continental US. Again, add more on an island. Dude, you’re looking at a “starting price” of about $150m to build the place and it’ll probably be more. Even allowing for interest on the money you’re collecting, it’s almost 20 years! You need to register Island2032.com quick!

Bottom line is your plan is not feasible.

It’s also illegal. You can’t tell people “you’re a sponsor” and at the same time say “you’re entitled to future use of the facility”. Either people are sponsors, in which case they have no rights to anything other than the advertising they pay for, or they are investors, in which case they have partial ownership in perpetuity (and you need a license to sell the shares and they need to be qualified investors), or they are customers who are pre-paying for some future service, in which case you are pretty much committing fraud, because there’s no reasonable way to deliver what you’re promising for the amount of money you’re asking people to pay.

Sorry Casey, the numbers for this plan just don’t work out. The legal structure doesn’t work out. Faith is not a viable plan.

And that's the way things are at FalseCasey HQ, where it's too fucking hot, the air is full of smoke and we really want this shit to end.

Casey's Gay

There's just no other way to explain it, nothing else to be said, and no possible counterargument. He's flaming. A poofter. s'Fag. Fudgepacker. Sausage swallower. Come up with a name for it, and he's that too.

He's also closeted, self-loathing, self-righteous and all the other worst possible traits that can be found in somebody who appears to be spending every waking hour trying to deny who he is.

If it weren't so hysterically funny, it would be sad.

And that's the view from FalseCasey HQ, where we find that there's still nothing wrong with that.

Jiggle, Jiggle, Jiggle

There's not anything really exciting on the Casey front.

Brother Steve's blog keeps going, and there was a post today that we will comment on later. Casey shows up from time to time but thinks he shouldn't have to put up with the Haterz™, as usual.

But we love Big Fake Tits around here, so we can't help but point back to a really nice source of jigglies back in Casey's old neighborhood.

We also note that the bike store logo strongly resembles the feeling we get anytime we think much about Casey's former associates. Especially blondie in that low-slung top.

And by the way, please don't bother emailing us about this. We've removed anything from this blog that is not 100% verifiable, and a whole lot of stuff that is verifiable but which we decided wasn't really all that appropriate. Since you and your colleage seem to feel that "marketing" and "showing our tits" are synonymous, you can't expect not to be called on it. Sorry. If you're concerned about this, you might start by using photos that aren't designed to emphasize your chests.

And that's the view from FalseCasey HQ, where we are so glad Michael Jackson is off the radar screen for a few days, but can't help but think that things will get wild again when they finally reveal where he's been buried.

Gone Again

And this time rather surprisingly and shockingly.

We suspect a family "surprise" awaited him in his email box or voicemail when he got away from his weekend soiree with buddy Christshippie.

The routine is familiar. Everything gone, including his flickr, videos and blog.

The only surprise is the speed of it happenning, just shortly after he approved some blog comments, thus the suspicion that whatever happened hit him fast and hard.

He'll be back. Then gone. Then back. Then gone...

In the meantime, check out Brother Steve's blog.

And that's the way it is at the mobile FalseCasey HQ, which is moving west again tomorrow.

OK, he's not gone...

We could only have wished.

BloggerCasey is already back. He's claiming that he had to leave his former situation because "it's no longer a win-win."

This should hardly be a surprise. Casey's definition of a "win" is something that brings attention to him, regardless of the cost in personal reputation, credit, cash or business failure that may be foisted on somebody else. From Casey's perspective, the project could only be a "win" if he could make it all about him and bring along his usual legion of Haterz and other hangers-on.

A normal businessperson's definition of a "win" would be a website/blog that does not attract undue attention from people who are not part of the target market, does not seek to make one of your minor employees a star, and most certainly does not bring yourself, your cleavage, or your family to the attention of a bunch of rabid trolls from places like CampIdiot.

Thus, Casey's definition of a "win" is completely incompatible with anything he might ever be asked to do for a real business.

Now, we might have issues with his previous boss, or find something to like about her cleavage, or for that matter might feel that her entire profession is nothing but a legalized monopoly that should be broken up as anticompetitive. In fact, we tend to think all of the above things. But we don't believe her to be the kind of idiot who would believe that anything that could be a "win" for Casey could ever be a "win" for her. So he's gone, and now he's back, on his own.

And in his usual form, he's unemployed and babbling on about how he's going to finally capitalize on all his "experience."

Sadly, it's tough to capitalize on an experience base that includes only failure.

And that's the view from FalseCasey HQ, which will be moving shortly.

Casey's Gone

It seems that his firing is for real. This may be the first time in history that Casey has managed to actually throw himself under the bus, though clearly there has been collateral damage to his various associates.

Information we have received suggest that the idea to engage the Haterz™ was entirely his, and was done before he received any permission or even discussed it with his boss. She was dragged in to his world with no prior understanding of what was about to happen, no opportunity to evaluate whether it was a good idea, or even the chance to research what had happened to everybody else who had become a known associate of Casey's, as has been thoroughly documented on Caseypedia™.

As has been noted by others, Casey started two personal blogs last month: BloggerCasey which was all about him, and his boss's blog, which in the end also turned out to be all about him. He sold her a bill of goods and she's paying for it.

As Nigel noted the other day on CHC: "Casey's problem is he blogged about it. He reached out to key people like WWTF and others to make sure everybody knew he was coming back. He went on the talkcast and brought Angel with him. He created BloggerCasey and opened comments. Haterz didn't do any of this. This was all his doing."

Casey is poison because he can't turn off the "I/ME" switch in his head that makes him convinced that every project he's involved in has to involve him as the frontman. As a result, he ends up sabotaging everything he touches.

Our advice to him: Recognize that 99.9% of what you do in the world is not about you. It's about getting stuff done for somebody else. Keep your own name out of it. For everybody else's sake, if not your own.

And that's the view from FalseCasey HQ, where the sun finally came out this afternoon.

A Private Conversation

Between Casey and Galina, as "interpreted" by one of the freaks over at CaseyHaterz™:

Casey: Galina before you blow me please put on this fake moustache.

Galina: Anything you want dear. I'm here to please my man. But why don't we ever go all the way?

Casey: Because God told me that we weren't ready.

Poetry

The Haterz™ have been driven to poetry while awaiting Casey's next move. Here are some of our favorites (More will be added as appropriate):


I bought eight houses, I felt real good
I wanted to fix them, flip them I would
But I overbought and lost everything on a bet
Lost my wife, my dignity and piled up the debt
Now all I got is an RV and my tail between my rear
Lost my job and dammit I ain't a queer!




This house on Muncy, owned by a fool
Needs a stick poked in the pool
And one that will the mortgage pay
That is perhaps not quite so gay.




Tits. I bought them. Now they're mine.
For my business they're sublime.
I've no real skillz, I'm just a hack,
but that doesn't matter 'cause I've got my rack.
I get exclusives on properties,
by giving them a little tease.
And with great ease I can sell a house,
by showing up in a low-cut blouse.
Without my big fake boobs I'm lost.
They're worth every penny that they cost.
Who could have guessed I'd take a fall,
when I hired the biggest boob of all?

Authors' names withheld to protect the guilty

Casey's Boss Comes to Her Senses

All evidence of Casey has been expurged from her blog. True, a few pictures remain, but nothing that would show up if you searched on his name. Even the former reference to the "Staff Blogger" is now gone.

It seems that being a Real estate broker, even one with huge fake tits, doesn't make one so dim-witted as to not realize how toxic Casey is or how badly you can get hurt by associating your name with his.

And that's the way things are at FalseCasey HQ, where we're anxiously awaiting the next eruption of Caseyness, which will most likely hit us when we least expect it.

Oh My, What Have We Started?

Our little blog was of course created as a response to the old TrueCasey debacle.

We now have a new contender. BloggyCasey has appeared, apparently a creation of our old CH.C buddy, BadjerJim.

And with CHJTS's unwanted reappearance, we now have yet another blog to ridicule, and have heard rumors that a group of known haterz™ are about to launch one.

We could wax poetic about the fact that this is the original Casey Serin parody blog, but that would be the kind of thing that CHJTS would do, and we're not so concerned with getting credit as we are with ridiculing his ridicule-derserving antics.

So... Anybody interested in something else? Black Casey running MillionaireByKwanza.com? (Discussing the role of the white man in holding him down.) Or maybe MyShortSaleSeductress.com? (The author could focus on techniques for closing short sales through use of your large, fake tits.)

The possibilities are endless.

And while we realize this might steal our thunder somewhat, we are sufficiently amused to be happy to see such things developing.

And that's the view from FalseCasey HQ, where we wonder why nobody can make a mountain bike bottom bracket that lasts more than a year anymore.

Silence

There's been nothing new since our boi Casey was apparently taken out to the woodshed by his short-sale specialist boss, sometime late last week.

All that has happenned is that he has removed pretty much all comments from her blog as well as his BloggerCasey fiasco, and shut up completely.

We think this is not over here, but who knows? He mentioned something about a financial decision that needed to be made soon, and we suspect that he's running scared. Perhaps he's caught between the desire to blog free and the need to have a paycheck this month. In which case, we say "welcome to the real world Casey," as this is the kind of choice pretty much all of us need to make from time to time.

We strongly suspect that his role has been clarified as "office assistant who also managed the blog and replaces toner cartridges," not "full-time blogger and comment moderator."

Eventually he'll break out. He can't stand not having the publicity.

And we're waiting, watching the blogs (with scripts blocked, of course) and biding our time.

And that's the way it is at FalseCasey HQ, where things are really slow today.

A Bit About Metrics. And Fake-Titted Bosses.

A time will come in your life when you are asked by your fake-titted short sale specialist boss to do some sort of project. Maybe it involves a website. Maybe it involves some sort of business process. Maybe it involves some other measurable business deliverables.

Part of what you will almost always be asked to deliver are the metrics that show how your little project is performing. Is it being used? Is it being used well? Who is using it? How often? How does it compare to the old way of doing things? etc.

These are all valid business questions, and you need to answer them in order to justify your existence and your salary (or flophouse, free van parking or whatever else you may be getting as compensation).

In today's automated world, you may be tempted to automatically collect the data and provide your boss and everybody else who may be interested with easy access to it all, so they can figure out for themselves what's going on and not constantly be asking you for all sorts of annoying reports and analysis. It is often easy to do, and if you do it, you'd have far more time to goof off, go to Starbucks and post messages on Facebook or wherever.

You will be tempted to do this.

You should not.

First, all of those annoying reports and queries they ask you for are a good source of long-term employment. You need to look out for #1, and that's not your employer. They won't fire you if they need you to produce TPS reports.

Second, and more important, you never, ever, ever want your boss or the general public to have direct access to data generated by your project. Because they may not interpret it the way you might hope they would.

By providing them a link button like this one:



You in fact encourage them to click on it.

You don't want to do that.

No, we're serious. You don't.

Forget all the bullshit about transparency, reality, "being organic" and all the rest. It doesn't apply. You don't want to do that.

That's how you get screwed.

You see, there is probably amazing data behind that silly little button that could make you look really great if you just had the opportunity to analyze it yourself, set aside the pieces that really aren't important to what you want to show, import the rest into an Excel spreadsheet, slice it and dice it a bunch of ways then put it all into a 20-page Powerpoint which is sure to wow them (or at worst, put them to sleep) at the next staff meeting.

But, as we said, by putting that button there you encourage your boss to click on it. And eventually she will. Hopefully she'll see a nice little picture of all the happy people using the cool little tool you built for her:



Hopefully she'll stop there. The problem is, she probably won't.

She might continue her little bit of fact-finding and discover that the vast bulk of the people who seem interested in her cool little tool are nowhere near her target market, and many of them not even in the same state or country:



Or, she might decide she needs a better understanding of how people found about about the cool little tool you built her, and discover that they're getting to it in ways she never imagined:



Maybe she'll even continue her research, trying to find a few more details about where all these new and supposedly interested people you attracted are coming from. Only she'll discover that rather than being generated by some positive impression you created, the primary motivator for all the attention her business is getting is a bunch of lunatics who are also taking every opportunity to call her a dim-witted, fake-titted bitch who really needs to learn how to park her obnoxious vehicle.



And that is when that big spurt of juicy activity you were hoping to impress her with:



Becomes as meaningless, irrelevant and unproductive as every other spurt you have ever created in your life. (To say nothing of it having led you to a false sense of accomplishment.)

Which is how, in a matter of minutes, you can go from being "Marketing Director" to "barely employed printer maintenence boi."

So do us and yourself a favor. Collect all the data you want. The more you have, the more ammo available to justify yourself. Then make sure you're the only one who can use it, because there's no sense in giving ammo to somebody who may find reason to use it for shooting at you.

And that's the view from FalseCasey HQ, where we are decidedly unsurprised at the unfolding of events.

Learn to Park, Bitch!

Yup, that's our favorite Sacramento Fake-titted Caseyboss and short sale specialist, parking her Infiniti sport-bling-vehicle in front of the 9645 Sea Cliff Way house. Note her parking on the wrong side of the street, because parking on the other side of this minor suburban road and walking across, or just turning around, would have been too much trouble. Note her parking in front of a fire hydrant, because, well, we can't find a single plausible justification for that except for simply not giving a shit.

We could be cynics and suggest you also note the license plate on her car and key it if you ever come across it anywhere. But Casey would call us mean. Waaaah!

Also, are we the only ones who find it amusing that the street is "Sea Cliff Way?" Isn't this Sacramento? Isn't the ocean about a hundred miles away?

And you need a locksmith to change out a cylinder on an el-cheapo original lock? How about learning to do something useful for yourself? It's a two minute job for anybody with a screwdriver.

And that's the way it is here at FalseCasey HQ, where we're still waiting for the UPS guy to show up.

Nice to know they understand their own market...

Casey, writing on behalf of his real-estate huckster boss, has posted a video by "Buyer Brad" and notes that:

Brad is fighting multiple offers trying to buy a house in Sacramento in the sub 200K price range. Is the market heating back up or what?

Brad also tells us a little bit about the tax credits he is taking advantage of. Maybe the tax credit is the that's the reason for the activity.

TrueCasey then quizzically asks:

Anybody else experiencing this?

It is sad that he and his sugar-mama don't realize how stupid they look.

After all, this trend has been reported on quite widely, especially since the latest tax credits became law. In the hardes-hit areas (which include all of Sacraento), prices have declined to the point where buyers are coming in. The tax credits are also big enough that in the sub-$200K market, they really make a difference.

Of course, employment is still a shambles, especially in government-heavy places like Sacramento (we voted against the latest tax increases this morning, meaning that more layoffs in CaseyTown are virtually assured), there are still a ton of option-ARMs out there that have not yet reset which will over the next year or two, and the higher-priced regions are just now beginning to feel the real pinch and are likely a 12-18 months behind.

But, back to the main point, none of this is real news. Even the mainstream press has caught on to this, as evidenced by this piece in the LA Times this morning.

But Casey is wondering if this is really going on and whether anybody else has noticed.

Nice way to tell your clients that you know less about the market than anybody who just reads a newspaper occasionally.

We wonder if he even bothered checking with his boss before posting this drivel, supposedly on her behalf. We suspect, that as usual, he didn't.

And that's the view from the FalseCasey HQ, where we are pondering the words of arch-villan Ernst Stavro Bloefeld regarding Bond-girl Tiffany Case: "If only they were brains."

TrueCasey Photo?

The following photo was forwarded to us from an anonymous source. It is claimed to be an original photo of Casey outside Nigel's house last fall, after being kicked out for disappearing with Nigel's car and going to dinner.

We have no idea if this is true, but it does sort of give that impression.

We will have more to say about this evenings abbreviated HaterzCast in short order.

And that's all that's going on at the FalseCasey HQ, where no earthquakes have happenned, at least not in the past 24 hours.

Casey has an accomplishment!

He has managed to post a photo to a blog!

Yup, after months of absence, our snowflake has returned, now as "Angel's promoter", who is running a blog on behalf of former tanning salon receptionist turned real-estate salesperson (she doesn't have a broker's licence), Amber Lynn.

And here is his great success.

Give us a break!

We would like to say more about the brief appearance of his flickr photostream, the even briefer appearance of his latest personal blog at bloggercasey.com, and his flip-flopping on multiple items already. But we were away and this all happened so fast that it's already ancient history in the CaseySphere.

In any case, it looks like we'll have something new to watch for a while, BTC has scheduled a Talkcast for Monday, and hilarity is likely to ensue.

We will have something to say if there's something worth saying.

For now, that's the view from the FalseCasey HQ, where spring is in bloom.