Casey's Got A Job!

Casey's corpse-like boss at the
Dragonfly Ranch in Hawaii. His previous
boss was hotter and had a nicer set.

Looks like our boi is now the manager of the "Ohana" at the Dragonfly Ranch in Hawaii.

The information comes from their latest newsletter, noting that "Casey, a young man of Russian origin, has taken on the huge task of ever so tactfully managing the Dragonfly ohana team. I am grateful to him for his brilliant optimistic energy combined with his calm and steady Virgo dedication to excellence—with love and joy."

The newsletter also includes a very old picture of Casey, when he still had some hair and a stupid goatee. It describes him as "our new handsome manager."

"Ohana" is Hawaiian for "family," but apparently using the word in English isn't cool enough for the owner of this place, who chooses to insert a variety of Hawaiian words into things at various times when it sounds cooler. Not that this is a terribly bad idea. We think calling Casey a wahahe‘e sounds pretty cool too.

The corpse-like individual who owns this place has an odd idea of family though. "Ohana" are apparently people who pay her for the privilege of working there, as detailed in the "join us" page. The same page says that anybody lacking a sense or humor need not apply. Which may help explain Casey's position there as nothing more than a huge practical joke on all the other ohana members indentured servants and paying customers, who presumably all have a sense of humor about their fate being in his hands.

Casey can be seen in the background of some activity at the "ranch" that most likely involves semi-vegan food, smoking weed, cleansing or something of that nature. No clue who the other morons are.

It is not clear exactly what an "Ohana manager" does, but he's obviously a member of the owner's power team. It doesn't sound like he has to do much. The place's page is pretty clear on the fact that it's dirty, musty, full of bugs and not particularly well-cleaned. That sounds about right for Casey, but hard to see anybody paying him for "managing" this. Maybe he's just getting a free cot in the wilderness.

Certainly, he's also getting a lot of other things he's claimed to care for. The "ranch" website is peppered with new-age bullshit of the highest order, including Caseyesque terms like "holistic," "healing arts," "cleansing," "colonic," "positive energies," "manifesting," "eco-tourism" and a whole bunch more, but we have to stop before anybody gets ill.

And that's the way it is at FalseCasey HQ, where we can shut the windows when it rains.